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Becoming a Great Leader

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Learn about common mistakes made by people trying to be leaders, how to become a great leader and choose your own leadership style.

“Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It’s about impact, influence, and inspiration. Impact involves getting results, influence is about spreading the passion you have for your work, and you have to inspire teammates and customers.”

— Robin Sharma, The Leader Who Had No Title

As software engineers, one of the most important skills we need to develop is leadership, even if our job title doesn’t explicitly reflect it.

While our primary responsibility may be to provide solutions to real-world problems, this role involves working closely with others. From understanding the problem to implementing a solution, we inevitably influence those around us. The best way to make that influence positive and effective is by embracing leadership.

Leadership Anti-Patterns

In this section, I highlight some common mistakes made by bosses or people trying to be leaders. The goal is to raise awareness so we can avoid falling into these traps:

It is not about authority

One of the biggest leadership mistakes is believing that people will follow your decisions just because you hold a title. Being a boss doesn’t automatically make you a leader. Leadership is about influence, not authority. This is why it’s important to distinguish between being a boss and being a true leader, even though a boss can also be a leader. In modern companies like Amazon or Google, the person who is right is the one who can provide valid reasoning and evidence for their decisions, regardless of their title. And often, multiple people can be right at the same time.

It is not about a fake interest or empathy

I believe this is a serious issue that many people fall into—myself included. Demonstrating genuine interest or empathy is not about appearances; it’s about truly caring for others. This means putting yourself in their shoes and really feeling their concerns to understand them. Fake interest is easily detected, and when people realize it, your influence and credibility will diminish significantly.

It is not about always being hard or certain

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

— Brené Brown

When I first decided I wanted to become a leader, I fell into this trap. This mindset is toxic and can lead to unnecessary pressure. The good news is that you don’t need to be perfect. In fact, when you show humility, those around you feel more comfortable interacting with you. Demonstrating transparency and sincerity turns your perceived weaknesses into strengths, earning you influence and respect.

How to become a leader

First, we must understand that there are several leadership styles. Essentially, every leader must be capable of influencing others, creating impact, and continuously improving.

This influence, often referred to as positive influence, should be executed with a mindset of creating win-win situations, where everyone benefits. It’s important to remember that you won’t always know whether a decision or action will have a positive outcome until after the fact. However, my tip for you is to be genuinely empathetic—this demonstrates your good intentions and builds trust in your leadership.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.”

— Simon Sinek

Leaders generate impact within their sphere of influence, whether that’s a team, a company, a market, or even a country. We must always keep this in mind and take responsibility for the influence we have. Furthermore, as leaders, we have to keep one eye on the future and the goal, ensuring the team stays on the right path.

Finally, a leader must be aware that everything changes over time: priorities shift, new requirements emerge, markets reinvent themselves, and so on. As software engineers, we must take advantage of these changes and adapt to new realities. Always remember that we can improve our abilities and skills—real leaders seek and receive feedback as a gift to grow in their careers.

Choosing my leadership style

My advice to you is: don’t limit yourself from trying new things. I was inspired by a boss who had the ability to orchestrate people, communicating effectively and assertively. He was a charismatic leader who knew how to identify the strengths and weaknesses of others and leverage them effectively. After several attempts, I realized that the leadership style I resonate with most is servant leadership, at least in general terms.

I’ve also learned that a leader must be flexible enough to adapt their leadership style to the situation—one style isn’t effective in every case.

“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.”

— Ronald Reagan

You can analyze and study the leadership styles of others. For example, Benjamin Franklin’s leadership was pragmatic and transformational. You can learn a lot from observing other leaders and practicing different styles.

Here’s a short list of common leadership styles to consider:

  • Servant Leadership: Leaders prioritize the needs of the team, empowering others to grow and succeed.
  • Laissez-Faire Leadership: Leaders take a hands-off approach, giving team members autonomy to make decisions.
  • Transformational Leadership: Leaders inspire and motivate others by setting a vision and driving change.
  • Democratic Leadership: Leaders involve team members in decision-making, promoting collaboration and creativity.
  • Autocratic Leadership: Leaders make decisions unilaterally, focusing on control and authority.

Conclusion

Leadership is not defined by a title, but by the positive impact and influence we bring to others. As software engineers, we have the opportunity—and responsibility—to lead, adapt, and grow continuously. Whether through empathy, humility, or strategic vision, the key to becoming a great leader is recognizing that leadership is a journey of learning, not a fixed destination. Embrace change, empower those around you, and always seek to inspire through action and example.

I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences with leadership in the comments below. Whether you have insights, feedback, or a different perspective.

Carlos G.

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Pixie’s Journey started in 2007 in Dublin, Ireland, with the goal to become a key SAP player on the European contract recruitment market. Firstly focusing on integrators and end-users of SAP solutions, the company decided to expand its expertise in terms of technologies launching new companies and teams in Europe and abroad, and finally setting up a holding company: Kube Partners. Nowadays, the group operates worldwide from its offices in Spain, France and the USA.
Oxigent Technologies was founded as a Kube subsidiary in June, 2019 to offer local tech services to multinational companies. Our clients rely upon Oxigent teams for carrying-out their most strategic activities, and Oxigent consultants are given the opportunity to be actors of the tech revolution that characterizes our world and time. During its first two years of life, Oxigent experienced a relentless growth of its business and talent teams in order to reach more and wider clients, as well as to offer new horizons to engineers eager to continuously improve. At the end of 2021, we were 80 employees and had a 30+ clients portfolio.
In 2022, we expanded our social benefits and sharpened our commitment with sustainability (ODS certification). In 2023, we already were 200+ professionals and could rely on a strong portfolio of more than 50 clients. By the end of 2024, we will hopefully surpass 250 people. We are still at the beginning of our journey and will keep doing consulting in a different way, that's our recipe for success.
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